If you've been hurt in the past, how do you trust your boyfriend and not go crazy?

I had a boyfriend who lied to me all of the time and ever since then, I have such bad trust issues.





An example? My very new boyfriend (who I don't want to smother/freak out) didn't call me today (not that weird, we're not that kind of couple that MUST talk every five seconds). My really good friend (who's a total flirt), who I texted today, never wrote back.





They have a morning class together.





So naturally, because my super-trustworthy boyfriend who has never given me ANY reason not to trust him 100%, must be having sex with my extremely trustworthy friend.





Or, as I mildly freaked out about ALL DAY.





Real story?





He was really busy today. She had a community service event all day and did not have her phone.





Best part? She had to miss the class they have together, and he signed her in (so she would get credit for attendance anyway), just to be nice, and wrote the wrong last name.





So to sum up: I spent all day worrying that my boyfriend and my best friend were having a secret affair when he doesn't even know her last name.





I understand that I'm driving myself crazy because I really like him and I'm scared he'll treat me like my ex did, but HOW do I stop?





When I get into that mode, I just lose my mind a bit. Help?If you've been hurt in the past, how do you trust your boyfriend and not go crazy?
Remember today the next time you freak out.


You were worried, and it was for no reason. Then, start remembering all the times he's proved hes trustworthy.


But the biggest thing is to take a deep breath and remember. This guy is NOT your ex.





Its hard, but eventually you find someone who makes you so happy that you can give your whole trust to himIf you've been hurt in the past, how do you trust your boyfriend and not go crazy?
lossing your mind will only make thing worse. If you trust him 100% then put it in your heart that your wrong. I doubt that your bff would lie to you, and as you said she was doing something else today.Just have faith that your bf will be more amazing then you think.
I used to be in the same situation as you, so I understand what you are going through. It can take a long time to get over trust issues, and the best way to do it is through communication.





My ex was a complete ***, and it went beyond just lies. When I got together with my now- fiance, there were a lot of times when I felt like he was cheating on me, or going to hurt me, or ignore me, or whatever...even though he did nothing to indicate that. So I just sat down and talk to him, explained my situation, and he said he understand and that he would do whatever he could to help me get over this fear that he would be like my ex.





In the end getting over it will be up to you. Just keep reminding yourself that he has done nothing to indicate that he would be cheating on you, and that he isn't your ex. And when you feel particularly upset about it, when you are in ';that mode,'; then just talk to him. Let him know that there will be times you will be like this and it is not his fault. If he is a good guy, he should be willing to listen to you and help you through it.





Best of luck to you!
well if he have a lot of contact with her more than u and look at her more than u maybe it might be true and if ur bestfriend has a crush on your bf then maybe it is true but if u dont want to lose him stay close with him maybe during no class days u could talk to him and maybe be together the whole day or have a date and if ever he cancels it without telling u the reason why then ask him or maybe u could scare him (what i meant that if he wont tell u you can say to him that its over so he could tell u) or maybe it is true what u might think
If you can't force yourself to trust him (I understand how that can be an issue, so I'm not being critical here or anything) I'd just lay it all out on the table, just tell him in a nutshell if you want about your ex and all that and what's going on with you now. Make sure that he understands that you aren't blaming him for anything and that it's all stuff that you know you have to work through. Really, as long as you make sure you're owning your own stuff and not projecting any crap onto him, I'm sure he'll understand and even try to see if he can try to find a way to support you in his own way.
Get over it. This is not fair to you or your boyfriend, your old boyfriend is still ruling your life with his lies. Do you want this ex boyfriend in control of your life and your relationships? Sounds like you have to let go, what are you getting out of hanging on to a relationship that was so painful? Time to get real, stop the drama, your best friend did not deserve your over active imagination, and your boyfriend deserves you to trust him. You are the only thing holding everything back, let go of the old boyfriend.